Letting Go to Move Forward: Why Releasing Negative Energy Is Essential to Career Growth
(Posted on Tuesday, April 15, 2025)
At some point in your career, you will feel wronged.
Whether by a colleague, a supervisor, a client, or even an entire organization—those moments are, unfortunately, inevitable.
It might come in the form of being passed over for a promotion. Being shut out of a conversation you should have been part of. Or working tirelessly on a project only to watch someone else take the credit.
I’ve been there.
If you’ve spent any significant time in the working world—you’ve likely been there too.
And it’s easy—natural, even—to want to hold on to the frustration, to replay the moment in your head, to stay stuck in the injustice of it all.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Holding onto that pain doesn’t punish the other person—it punishes you.
The Cost of Carrying the Weight
We often think we’re justified in holding onto bitterness. We say things like:
- “They don’t deserve my forgiveness.”
- “I’ll never forget what they did.”
- “I’m not ready to move on.”
But here’s the hard truth: while you’re holding onto that energy, it’s holding you back.
Science backs this up. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found that unforgiveness is linked to higher stress levels and poorer physical health outcomes—including increased risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.¹
Another study from Emory University showed that people who held onto grudges experienced higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, and reported greater symptoms of depression and anxiety.²
Think about that: the longer you hold onto anger, resentment, or bitterness, the more damage it does—not to the person who wronged you, but to you.
In a professional context, it also drains something even more valuable: your mental and emotional resources.
And those are the very tools you need to succeed.
Forgiveness Isn’t Trust—It’s Freedom
Let me make something clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
It doesn’t mean blindly trusting someone who’s hurt you. It doesn’t mean allowing a toxic person to stay in your life or tolerating abuse or disrespect.
What it does mean is this:
You make a conscious decision to stop letting that situation occupy space in your mind, heart, and energy.
You stop ruminating over what you wish you’d said.
You stop replaying the injustice every time you see their name.
You stop carrying a grudge that gets heavier with time.
Forgiveness is not weakness—it’s wisdom.
It’s a decision to move forward.
As leadership expert Dr. Fred Luskin from Stanford University puts it:
“Forgiveness is the experience of peace and understanding that can be felt in the present moment, regardless of what happened in the past.”³
Reclaiming the Energy for Progress
In The GAIN Principle, I talk about the importance of moving through career cycles with clarity: Go, Assess, Identify, Next.
When you’re stuck in a state of frustration, resentment, or anger, you can’t move forward. You can’t assess clearly, because your lens is clouded. You can’t identify new opportunities, because your attention is still tied to the old wound. You certainly can’t step into what’s next if your feet are stuck in the past.
Releasing negative energy—through forgiveness, self-reflection, and conscious redirection—isn’t just emotional hygiene. It’s strategic leadership.
It frees up your most valuable resource: your ability to focus forward.
What Letting Go Looks Like in Practice
Let me be practical here. This doesn’t mean you pretend something didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean the wrong behavior was okay. Here’s what letting go does look like:
- You set clear boundaries. You don’t re-engage with the person or system unless it’s healthy and productive.
- You reflect without ruminating. You learn the lesson—but you don’t let the pain define your identity.
- You shift your focus to your goals. Instead of revenge or rumination, you channel that energy into advancement—into better relationships, sharper work, and renewed clarity.
- You stay alert, but not bitter. You don’t ignore red flags in the future—but you don’t walk into every room expecting betrayal.
That’s strength.
That’s leadership.
That’s freedom.
A Personal Note
One of the most powerful career moves I ever made happened after I was deeply wronged.
I won’t go into the details here, but I’ll say this: at the time, I was angry. I felt betrayed. I thought about quitting, walking away, or burning a few bridges on my way out.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I paused. I processed. And I chose to take the higher road—not because the person deserved it, but because I did.
That decision to let go—not immediately, but intentionally—freed me to pursue the biggest leap of my career just a few months later.
If I had stayed stuck in the drama, I would have missed the opportunity entirely.
And I see this happen again and again.
What Are You Holding Onto?
So let me ask you this:
- Is there someone you’re still holding a grudge against?
- Is there a moment that lives rent-free in your head, draining your confidence and joy?
- Are you letting anger or betrayal distract you from the bigger goals in front of you?
If so, you’re not alone.
But you do have a choice.
You can hold onto the pain, or you can reclaim your energy for progress.
You can stay focused on what someone took from you, or you can focus on what’s still possible for you.
You can let bitterness take root—or you can clear the ground and make space for something better to grow.
Final Thought: The Path Forward
If you’re feeling stuck in a past conflict or wounded by something that happened at work, here’s what I want you to remember:
Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you.
It’s about reclaiming your focus, your momentum, and your future.
You don’t have to trust the person again.
You don’t have to forget what happened.
But you do have to decide if you’re going to let that situation define your next move—or if you’re ready to let go and rise.
Because the truth is, you still have big things ahead.
And nothing—not even injustice—should get in the way of your growth.
What’s one piece of negative energy you’ve been carrying that you’re ready to release?